Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Anxious

I have been feeling anxious lately. When I was in school, I always had something to do. I was usually so busy with school, work, and a business that I had no idea how I would get it all done. Everyday required so much energy and effort and by the end of the day, I would collapse.

Before I started my undergrad I took two years off from school. During that time, I moved to CO and gained residency, worked, partied, and traveled. I had a wonderful time doing all of those things. It was what I needed to do, at that time.

Now, I have been out of school for a year. I took a six month vacation until I moved to DC and found a job. I have always found that a 40 hr per week job is never enough to fill the day or week for me. How people wake up, go to work, work for 8-10 hours, come home, and repeat this day after day is amazing to me. I have never been satisfied with this. I have almost always had a job with great flexibility. Sometimes this has meant taking a less prestigious job or a job with less pay, but I always have seen it as worth it too me.

Sorry for the rambling.

So, why have I been anxious? I am tired after six months of working. I fill my day with all sorts of activities. I work out almost daily, I volunteer regularly, I vacation as much as possible, I cook the old-fashioned way several times a week, I visit and hang out with friends, I read books for hours at a time, I talk on my phone, and so many other things. However, during this time I feel like I have been going no where. My workplace loves me, but I am not challenged.

I guess I longing for the sleepless nights, the constant tiredness, the frustration of a difficult problem or task, and wondering how I will get it all done before the due date.

SCHOOL...you can't start soon enough!

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